i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
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If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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