eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
