Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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