She's JV to your varsity
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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