cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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