hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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