Kiss
Puke
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
