Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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