I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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