i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
