I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
