the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
