does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
