uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize