AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Someone came in the potted fern
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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