She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
