so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
