while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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