if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize