Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
