Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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