this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
