Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
