You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
COCAINE IS GR8
I said "one day" and that day is not today
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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