rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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