..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
