he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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