Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They took my balls.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
