But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
