It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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