I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize