why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
