I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
