omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You can't special order awesome
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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