Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I met the friendliest cop last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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