oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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