He kissed a someone with a penis
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
