Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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