So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
