I puked a lego.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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