I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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