then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
