haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize