I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
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We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts