oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.