Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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  (267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (717)
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  (914): View more from New York

  every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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  (914): every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now http://tfl.nu/173b
  Replies (25) Good night (9041) Bad night (1502)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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  (330): he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away. http://tfl.nu/7b3j
  Replies (6) Good night (3435) Bad night (1082)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list

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  (914): I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list http://tfl.nu/bjw0
  Replies (18) Good night (5134) Bad night (763)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

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  (419): If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does. http://tfl.nu/2dp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3093) Bad night (1426)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

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  (780): I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/0wae
  Replies (2) Good night (1677) Bad night (864)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

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  (281): Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/z4q3
  Replies (7) Good night (1435) Bad night (1145)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  I just wanted to decorate you...

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  (269): It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair. (1-269): I just wanted to decorate you... http://tfl.nu/gax7
  Replies (8) Good night (3596) Bad night (827)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.

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  (618): I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas. http://tfl.nu/yx8c
  Replies (13) Good night (4136) Bad night (745)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

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  (207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight http://tfl.nu/6sqo
  Replies (17) Good night (3100) Bad night (941)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

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  (575): I have a broken liver (1-575): I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us. http://tfl.nu/0hjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (647)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE

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  (416): I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE http://tfl.nu/e7i8
  Replies (6) Good night (655) Bad night (846)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man

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  (248): Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man http://tfl.nu/pjf5
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (831)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.

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  (425): Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes. http://tfl.nu/8scq
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (399)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!

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  (720): Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/s1bh
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (308)

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