Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i really like this girl i slept with last night

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you ask her out again?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married

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  (703): i really like this girl i slept with last night (202): you ask her out again? (703): yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married http://tfl.nu/y34d
  Replies (7) Good night (2796) Bad night (2345)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds

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  (713): Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds http://tfl.nu/uf3z
  Replies (11) Good night (4768) Bad night (813)
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  (716): View more from New York

  One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

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  (716): One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. http://tfl.nu/aaag
  Replies (16) Good night (5328) Bad night (1019)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.

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  (330): He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours. http://tfl.nu/wqf0
  Replies (15) Good night (2957) Bad night (981)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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  (978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj
  Replies (5) Good night (2687) Bad night (828)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed

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  (312): Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed http://tfl.nu/to9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (588)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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  (503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (499)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.

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  (586): So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER. http://tfl.nu/hlts
  Replies (7) Good night (1738) Bad night (557)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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  (305): Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now" http://tfl.nu/z261
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (621)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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  (418): I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC http://tfl.nu/grmc
  Replies (12) Good night (857) Bad night (1367)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"

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  (717): all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever" http://tfl.nu/t8bi
  Replies (7) Good night (309) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

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  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (361)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.

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  (810): you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam. http://tfl.nu/qr51
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (368)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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  (716): So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans... http://tfl.nu/4fn7
  Replies (4) Good night (401) Bad night (505)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.

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  (705): His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband. http://tfl.nu/yqll
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (393)

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