My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Bring me that man meat
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
