So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
