party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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