its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
