alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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