Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
