i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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