Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
too bad you live with your parents still
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
