i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
