HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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