I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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